Dungeon Master
The Silly and Christmas-y Choose Your Own Adventure 2007

148.Beowuuf

The fireballs advances and sweeps through the party.

"Wait a moment," says the party as one, "this isn't real! This is just a hallucination brought on by killer screamers poisoning us with hallucinagen so they can take over!"

"How did we shake it off?" asks one champion.

"We didn't, the screamers died during the invasion because they react badly to water!"

"Wow, this is just like that fairy tale. My therapist told it to me yesterday infact."

"But - he died a year ago!"

"So who gave us the scroll, was that real?"

"Oh that was The Grey Lord - it turns out he is actually evil, and testing us to see if we were his counterparts."

"What a twist!"

Just then, a UPS truck drove into the dungeon.

"What the f-lying dragon crap is that?"

"I'm with UPS, and this is a truck" said the UPS truck driver. "Your parents hide away here and created this world to protect themsevles from the evils of the world and provide a better life for you."

Shama-lama-ding-dong!

I mean....

CONGRATULATONS! You've won the game!

"Wait, why are you here?" asks Gothmog to the driver.

"I need to deliver this box."

"Hey guys, have you seen Syra?" asks Stamm.

"Oh dear god!" says Gothmog opening the package.

"What's in the box?" asks Stamm scared, "WHAT'S IN THE BOX?"

"Stay back!" yells Morgan Freeman into his radio mic, "John Doe has the upper hand!"

And they all lived happily ever after, as it turned out Syra was just getting tied up by perverts with some tinsel and the box just contained an ever-lasting waterskin for Gothmog.

The end.

(Also, it turned out the giant by the lift was actually a devilish demon. So that wasn't just unimaginative picture re-use.)