Dungeon Master
The Silly and Christmas-y Choose Your Own Adventure 2007

82.Beowuuf

The giant takes the pills, and downs the whole bottle in one fiery gulp. There is a muffled hiss from inside him, and more smoke and even steam come out of every pore and orifice.

"Oo, er!" says the giant as it all starts getting a bit eye watering. However, then, with one final belch the fires die off. "Oh my goodness, I never thought I could feel such relief!" he says, shaking each member of the party's hand in gratitude.

"What an odd yet sweet man," says Wu Tse.

"Oh arse, arse, arse, arse, arse!" says the giant suddenly, throwing Wu Tse against the wall. He starts jumping around, making odd motions. "No one told me all my bling was so bloody hot!" says the giant - now his temperature has cooled, all his red hot gear is too hot to handle. He quickly flicks it off. What were some nice metallic knee and elbow protectors are actually some pretty good fire plate for the party, his dangly ear-rings and key ring accessories make some nice fire shields, and the thimbles he's got on his fingers for no wildly good reason could make good fire helms.

Fire

The party can scrounge up enough gear for four sets of fire armour, although gathering it up and holding it until it cools enough to be put on roasts one poor sap (choose your least favourite party member, they won't mind)

"Sure, take 'em, I don't need 'em," says the giant pleased with himself and the party, "I'm off to get me more digestion crippling hot wings!"

Chani rolls her eyes. "Won't that just cause the indigestion again?" she asks. The giant pauses, considers it for a moment, then nods in realisation.

"Shut your noise you lot and get out of here before I thump you one," he says good naturedly, grabbing a plate of hot wings and stuffing his mouth. Bloody giants.