The Trolin happily accepts the ticket and ushers all the party into the cart. It's a tight fit, but he seems unconcerned.
"All aboard, all aboard for the Amazing Rollercoatser Ride of Mt. Anais! We shall begin the tour!" says the tour guide, "please keep your elbows, weaponry and tails in the cart at all time, and please no petting the animals along the way, especially if you have brutally killed their mother in your quest for experience and food earlier. Let's get moving!"
So saying the cart jerks violently on its tracks and starts hurtling along the tracks in along through various corridors and gallery sections overlooking important rooms.
"On your left you will see a grey wall, on your right you will also see a grey wall, to your left again is another grey wall - if you look closely you can see some green mold on it, to your left again you will see another grey wall, again with more mold, now, if you look to the floor you might just spot a water mark, now, this is a really funny story, you see although there is a water mark there is no fountains around! Haha! Moving on, to your left is a grey wall, to your right is a grey walled room with nothing in it, if you look right and keep your eyes peeled, you will entirely fail to notice the naked amazon women on your left - too late, sory, they have gone now. Maybe they will come back tomorrow."
The tour carries on like this until you get to the 'dragon cave', which ends up being the tour guide's house.
"Heh, you see, the wife is a real dragon...geddit?" The tour guide almost does, except he really does have a mean looking wife and none of the party dare. If Lord Chaos had only utilised them instead of the lazier husbands for DM no-one would have gotten passed level 3!
Luckily, she is too busy trying to spruce up the home to pay you much attention. She keeps tutting and sighing at the horrible green slime and all the captured weaponry placed up on the walls.